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"the world aint all sunshine and rainbows. its a very mean and nasty place. and i dont care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permamently if you let it. you me, o nobody hits hard as life, but its not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,how much you can take and keep moving forward.

and that i how winning is done.

how if you what you ware worth..

go out and get what you ware worth but you have to willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers saying you are not what you want to be because of him, her or anybody else. cowards do that.

and you are far more better than that c:"






this very inspirational message was sent by friend the moment that i needed it most.
it somehow captivated my negative thoughts and feelings and had placed them in a box where it says,




"sealed for my own safety :).."

its been a week since my baby cousin died.

still, the memory is still fresh..
like a newly stabbed body part..

i can still remember how blood was drawn every 30 minutes of our stay at pgh emergency room.
it was really a very bad memory.

the thought of him being pumped and oxygen was forced into his thin-lipped mouth.
the thought of his heart as still as the calm waters..

and the thought now that he is not coming back to us.
i am not going to see his big smiles.
his giggles without any sound.
his crazy eyes wandering up and down.
his mouth trying to open and say "ate"
and his heart trying to fight for the fate he was bound to meet.

his sweet kisses shall never be forgotten:( and his big smiles shall forever be in my heart.


i will miss you baby franco. i love you.

year of the ox!

unfortunately for me, librans are unlucky according to feng shui experts.

I was bothered since i was hoping for a really good year this 2009. I have already set my goals to be fulfilled and freed my mind of negative thinking but when i heard from a friend that i was going to be quite out of trend, i thought of everything i was suppose to finish as garbage.

I was not able to start the year right.
I had no new year resolutions.
I was not happy this new year.
and most especially, i did not feel like i was loved this christmas:(